i hate my life, i hate my everything. the truth has come down, the truth has been told. i really dont wish that what i heard and saw is the truth, but what can i really do? to pretend i knew nothing? to carry on deceiving myself? or to blame myself? everyday i tell myself to move on with my life, and i try to pretend that i'm happy, but it's just not true. my understanding of you stared to fade. or i should say. i had never understand you before. things around me got worst this days. wondering if i could help. but there just seems nothing i really can do. people often regreat things they have done and not done. so who can really tell if one does things would not be regreated? theres one thing i guess i would never get the answer i want. its been months. yupp. this i should really blame myself for that. sigh. listening to those songs makes me remind of the time we use to had together. i miss the last time us. and i miss you especially. where am i suppose to find back all of you? its all gone. all i can do to find you is only in my thoughts. i guess. i had always been hoping for the day to be back one day. but i guess i had be dreaming all the while. i know i got to wake up now! but i just cant bring myself awake! i've been struggling. but i guess i didnt try hard enough. cos i dont wish too. its been months also. yupp. i wont denied that i had slowly gotten use to it. but the flash of the times we had would always be there. dont tell me none of you feel that? i know its all memories now and its all facts. what i said now can never turn back the time. what we can do is to be happy with the path that we choose. i will, cause thats the path i chose myself. so i hope you will also. ya. i should really wake up and get on with my freaking life!

vonmissesyou.
1129am.